A Minor Setback for Mom...

As my dear sweet friend Krissi so adequately said, 'As mothers we think we can run forever; the truth is... our heart will, but our body does run out of gas.' My body ran out of gas faster than I was willing to admit and I was readmitted to the hospital yesterday afternoon due to high blood pressure. I have been trying so hard ever since last Thursday when this nightmare began to be the best mommy I could to both of my girls. I was extremely frustrated by this setback but tolerated the bed rest and labwork (remember I am a VERY difficult stick and once again had to have my finger sliced in order to get blood for labs). Hospitalization meant I could once again be a short walk to my little sweet pea. I was discharged this evening on the condition that I come home, take an ambien and rest but I find myself right back on the computer because I know that Emily's steady progress is due to the many prayers going up on her behalf from all over the world. Please know that Wayne and I will never be able to thank you all enough for all the prayers, love and support we have felt this past week. I am overcome with emotion and can't hold back my tears as I rejoice in God's bountiful blessings and protection. It is not by mere coincidence that he has blessed us with each and every one of you, our faithful friends and prayer warriors.

Emily has had an excellent day. I visited with her for several hours this morning and got to hold her for about an hour and a half. She had one brady but her heart rate only dropped to 71 and she recovered very quickly. Of course I was terrified but grateful to see that she was stable again after only a few seconds. She had a total of six episodes today but only three qualified as actual bradys. Three of those times she was able to stabilize on her own in less than five seconds. I was able to kangaroo care with her again this afternoon for another hour and a half and took full advantage of that time to kiss her little head! Wayne kangarooed with her yesterday so he let me have a turn today but was quick to let me know tomorrow was his turn again! I am so proud of her and give God all the glory for her continued strength. She is now up to half an ounce each feeding and tolerating her milk well. She weighs in at 3 lbs. 5 oz. today and is holding steady. Yesterday her bilirubin number was down so they stopped the light therapy. This morning it had gone up half a point but she will not have to go back 'to the beach' just yet... it's another one of those wait, watch and see things. Hopefully tomorrow it will be back down. Again, this is really the least of concerns on a long list of obstacles Emily needs to overcome. The fancy bed that she is in does most of the work for her so that her little body can focus on gaining weight. Her body temperature, oxygen level and breathing are all being controlled for her at this point so that she can use all of her energy on growing. Even with all the progress she is still a very sick little girl and I have to keep reminding myself of this fact. She looks so amazing, perfectly formed by our awesome maker, with ten of the smallest fingers and toes you've ever seen and the tiniest little button nose. She even takes after her Mimi right now with dark brown hair. It's the inside of her that still hasn't formed completely. She still lacks the muscles between her little ribs that help with her breathing and she missed out on a few weeks of rapid brain growth that now has to take place outside of the womb. Although she is doing amazingly well right now with all these early milestones, I am well aware that the journey may be long and setbacks may be lurking at every corner. Please continue to pray for our sweet baby girl. Pray that she will continue to grow and have a decrease ithe bradys. I think Wayne could use some prayers right now as well. He has been so strong for all of us and I can tell he is losing steam. Help us praise God for the gifts and blessings we have already received and pray for continued strength. I pray over her constantly and pray with such faith in our savior. I know that we need to ask as though He has already granted our request. I know that He will heal and restore little Emily. I know that this is just a page if not a mere paragraph of her life's story. I know that she will be home having tea parties with her big sister who loves her so much. Raising her to know God's love will be my life's work. I will tell her someday how much He loved her and how much He sustained her in her first few days, weeks, and months of life. She will someday be a diligent servant of his, just as each of you, and will do great things for her King. Thank you again for your prayers, calls, visits and encouraging emails. I am printing them off and making a book that she can read someday to fully understand the love that so many have for her and her family. Again Wayne and I feel so very blessed to be her parents. She is the icing on an already perfect cake!