Emily Update

The three hardest things I have ever done in my life.... 1) bringing Lila into this world, 2) bringing Emily into this world, 3) leaving my sweet Emily in the NICU for this second phase of our long, emotional journey. I'm home. I was discharged yesterday and finally willed myself to muster up enough courage to leave her in the caring, capable hands of the NICU staff around six o'clock last night. It was so very hard and cried unconsolably for almost an hour but felt better once I got home to Lila. She has been showered with love and spoiled by her Mimi, Papa,, Aunt Summer, Uncle B and cousins for the past several days but you could see all over her face how excited and relieved she was to have Wayne and I back home with her. I think it will be good for all of us to have some normalcy and routine back to our days and nights. I'm sorry we haven't been doing a better job at keeping everyone up to date on Emily's progress but everything so far has been so overwhelming. I just have been concentrating on putting one foot in front of the other and taking it one hour at a time remembering to breath and that Emily is in God's loving hands. He will sustain her and has sent an army of angels to keep watch over her. I will try to send out emails as often as I can so that all of you will be able to pray for our specific prayer requests. We know that God is in control and we feel his love and mercy surrounding us. He has always been so faithful and good to us and this is yet another shining example of the love he has for our family.

Emily is stunningly beautiful and reminds Wayne and I so much of Lila. We haven't had a really good look at her face because of the c-pap and hat she must wear for her oxygen but she takes after her sister in so many ways. She is spunky and is already showing signs of a willfull personality! She has her Daddy's fingers and toes... her little feet are my favorite... smaller than the size of my thumb with ten teeny, tiny little toes. I've heard that she has some hair and Mom and I got to have a quick look at her the other night without her c-pap hat and I really think she has more than Lila did when she was born... you all know how exciting that is for me since it has taken Lila far too long to grow what little bit she has now. All her nurses joke about her fiesty attitude and personality. For as small as she is, she certainly has no problem letting you know when she's mad or uncomfortable! Her little cry makes my heart rejoice... for that cry reminds me she is here and doing well.

We are allowed to be with her twenty four hours a day but are encouraged to interact with her only during "touch time", every three hours when they reposition her, take her vitals, change her diaper, and feed her. She is so very small and at first it was difficult to touch her in fear that she would hurt at the slightest touch but we have gotten really good at taking her temperature and changing her diapers. Wayne is better at the diapers than I but we're both slowly and surely getting accoustomed to her size and needs. Her x-rays each morning show her holding steady. They are still hazy but right now we are in a watch and wait state. There isn't anything too alarming showing up that would require action at this time. She has lost weight which was to be expected, and now comes in just under 3 lbs. 5 oz. Yesterday they increased her volume of milk from 4 ccs to 6 ccs and only once after a feeding had they found she did not digest all her intake. They have also started a lipids drip which is basically just nutrients and calories to fatten her up a bit. Because of the c-pap in her nose she has a feeding tube that goes down her throat and straight into her stomach. She gets her milk through a syringe in which gravity forces the milk through the tube. Occasionally they have to help push the milk through the tube just to speed up the process. Once we get off the c-pap the feeding tube will be put in her nose allowing her more comfort and easier use of her paci. She LOVES her paci and we are encouraged by this because it should help when we get to bottle feeds hopefully in three weeks. Our purple paci is the favorite at the moment... grape flavored... which Mimi gets a kick out of! Yesterday morning she went down to a c-pap setting of four and has done a marvelous job at holding steady with that. She still has moments of rapid breathing but the change in c-pap settings is an answered prayer. Her oxygen levels are still inconsistent but most of the time she is only requiring 21% which is equivalent to the level of room air. She had a little difficulty yesterday maintaining her body temperature but her bed is still providing her body with the temperature she needs so she doesn't have to work so hard to stay warm enough on her own. We were told late Sunday night not to be surprised if she had to have light therapy for a few days due to her belly ribbon number being high but after a sleepless night for me I wandered down to the NICU to sit with her around four Monday morning and was told her numbers had gone down so no light therapy as of yet. I praise God for these little blessings for I know there are peaks and valleys in our future. We will have highs and lows, good news and bad but we will make it. Emily has already proven to be a fighter and God's faithfulness has never been greater.

There are no new blood gases ordered much to my delight! She is a hard stick, like her mama, and very bruised up from all the work to establish an IV and from the blood draws each morning. Her IV failed after the second day. The vein it was in collapsed and infultrated causing her arm to swell and burned the sensitive skin on her hand. They didn't have success finding a new vein so they were forced to put in a central line. I am very happy they were able to go in through her belly button as opposed to her scalp as this will keep Emily from further discomfort from needles. The central line makes getting her meds easy and painless. Now future blood gases will come from a prick in her foot, still not fun but will give her little hands and arms a much needed break. The central line will keep us from holding her skin to skin (kangaroo care) but we have been able to hold her twice now all bundled up in blankets making sure she stays warm. That has truly been the best medicine for me! The first time we got to hold her for an hour as long as she handled it well... she did great and I held my baby for fifty minutes before realizing I needed to let her Daddy have a turn! Wayne was and has been so patient knowing that I needed so badly to hold my little angel and nuture her as any mother needs. Wayne has been our rock... trying so hard to meet the needs of all his girls. I couldn't have made it through the past four days without him! And I have let him hold Emily for a few minutes each time we are allowed! :) Yesterday before we left her they let us hold her for almost two hours. She slept in my arms most of the time but had a few alert periods when we opened her eyes at the sound of our voices and looked at us very intently. She was so calm and peaceful. The only time she fussed was when we had to leave and they took her away from us.

The only menacing thing I have to report today is the set backs with bradys. A brady is when Emily has apnea and forgets to breathe. Her heart rate gets too low and she forgets to breathe for five seconds or longer. These are very common with preemies and to be expected. She had been having them about once a day but had four yesterday alone and another one during the night. When she has a brady her alarms go off and the nurses rush to her bedside to stimulate her back to breathing again. Sometimes it's just a tap on her enclosed bed that gets her remembering to breath, other times they have to nudge her with a little touch. I know there is little explanation needed for you to know how very frightening this is for us. I am boldly asking God, knowing he will hear my prayer, to correct what needs fixing so we can stop having these bradys. I know they are expected and she will probably have more but the mere fact that we are having them more often is disheartening and hard to take. Please pray for an increase in her heart rate so the bradys will stop. Pray also for her breathing and oxygen levels to stay the same. Hopefully soon we will get rid of the c-pap and be on nose canulas. I can't wait for that day so I can see her little face!

We have so appreciated each prayer, call, visit,, hug, flower arrangement and piece of chocolate! Thank you all for loving us and our little sweet pea! She is doing as well as can be expected. I love her so much and am so blessed and grateful to be her mommy. Please continue to keep us in your prayers. They are working!

All our love,
Wayne, Samantha, Lila, and Emily