Christmas...

This year March 16th is a day that lives in infamy around our house. A day we were forever changed with the arrival of our sweet Emily, blessed with her presence but held captive at times in order to keep her safe. I am now very aware of every cough, sneeze, and sniffle around me. I loathe germs and have the dry cracked hands to prove it from washing my hands hundreds if not thousands of times a day! My house has probably never been cleaner (don't laugh Wayne!)in the five years we have lived here. Alarms are constantly going off in my head as I venture out during RSV season and put Emily at risk. It's a constant struggle to maintain a normal life and yet be cautious for Emily.

That was all the prelude to our recent news... Now that Lila has croup for the second time in three weeks and a nasty sinus infection to go along with it we have been strongly urged, dare I say forbidden, to travel by our pulmonologist, Dr. M. We didn't travel for Thanksgiving either but that we could handle. It wasn't easy but it was nice to have a few quiet days to spend with our little family of four and just be thankful for all we've been given this year. The news of spending Christmas at home is so sad for me (don't get me wrong..I love my husband and children and wouldn't spend Christmas anywhere without them) but I have NEVER not slept in my bed at my parent's house on Christmas Eve after dinner with family celebrating my Papa's birthday, and then waking up Christmas morning to spend time with my favorite people on this earth, Mom, Dad, Summer, Brandt, Charlie, Kate, Samuel and Shannon, having breakfast, opening presents, talking, laughing and just enjoying one another. Later in the day we go out to my grandparents and have Christmas all over again with the extended family...two aunts, three uncles, six cousins some with spouses and all of the great grandchildren, 11 in all now. But this Christmas we will be here in McKinney, per doctors orders, to keep Emily from traveling and getting sick. It's a bummer, a real bummer, but I'm trying to look at the bright side. If we make it through RSV season this year without coming down with RSV then we have gained more than we have lost, or should I say missed out on!

My Mom and Dad are here for a few days this week to love on my kiddos and spend an early Christmas with us. It was fun opening presents tonight but I must admit I went to bed really sad thinking about what Christmas would be like for my girls without their family. Emily is going to miss out in the line up, youngest to oldest, to go through the doors and see all the presents that Santa has left this year. And she almost would have been first in line, except that baby James was born just a few weeks ago, so he now has that coveted first place! More than all that I am going to miss watching Lila and Emily play with their cousins, and seeing her held and loved on by the people she belongs with, the people who will love, cherish and protect her all her life. I was hoping my girls could spend time in the house that always brings us all back together no matter what or where life has you at the time. Gram's house is magical. It's a place where we all sit and catch up, reminisce, and laugh at all the silly things we did so long ago. And the thing we will miss the most is spending time with great grandparents, my grandparents, who we all adore!! Yes, it's going to be a tough one. That's for sure. My heart will be heavy and longing for those back home but overjoyed that I will get to just soak up my girls and their excitement when they see all that Santa and his little helpers a.k.a. MiMi and Poppa and Gram have sent their way! So Have a Very Merry One... I really wish we could be there!