Happy Birthday Emily!

Emily Summer,

On the day you were born my life changed forever. On the day you were born, I became YOUR mother. Will you ever know what an incredible honor that is for me? On the day you were born the nurses handed you to Daddy so he could quickly let me see your sweet little face and kiss your tiny cheek before you were off to the NICU. It was only for a second, just so I could see with my own eyes that you were here, but in that second, I instantly knew you, instantly completely knew you.

It would be weeks until I saw that precious little face again without tubes or wires to help you breath and eat. But, that didn't keep me from memorizing every other little inch of you... I would sit by your isolet for hours and just take in the sight of you, the miracle of you. I could only touch you every four hours, (one day I opened a port hole on your isolet.. just so I could be that much closer to you... and got a stern little talk about your inability to control your body temp and blah, blah, blah... that nurse just didn't understand my need to be near you), but when I could touch, I took advantage of it... wrapping your tiny fingers around one of my own, stroking your soft delicate skin, playing with your sweet little feet (the size of my thumb they were my favorite... so tiny, yet perfect), and I would gently put my hand on your chest and feel the rise and fall of each breath. I could sit and stare at you for hours. Were YOU really MINE? How does one deserve such an extraordinary gift? And the gift of being your mother has only grown more precious right along with you. Still I ask, are YOU, MINE? Extraordinary.

On the day you were born I whispered to you of my love, of my commitment to pray for you daily. I apologized for how my body failed you and wished I could trade places with you so you wouldn't have to hurt or work so hard. I told you my hopes and dreams for you, I told you all about your beautiful big sister who didn't quite understand everything that was going on, but was very excited about her new baby. I told you how proud I was of your strength and I told you about Jesus, and how safe you would be in His arms until you could be in my own. A Mommy's heart is an amazing thing, for on the day you were born I was filled with so much love for you, more than I ever dreamed possible. I knew without a doubt there wasn't a thing I wouldn't do, not a place I wouldn't go, not a fear I couldn't find the strength to face, for you. It blows my mind to think of those feelings in relation to what God feels for us. My overwhelming love for you is just a drop in the bucket compared to His love for you and me and all those who love Him.

On the day you were born I also whispered in God's ear of my gratitude for His love and mercy. I thanked Him for miracles and marveled at His handiwork when it came to His creation of you. I promised Him I would teach you all about Him and show you how we are called to love in His name and for His glory. I asked Him for guidance and patience as I raised you and your sister to know Him. Even today, three years later, I pray the same things.

It gives me such joy to hear you talk about Jesus and see the twinkle in your eye when you sing songs about Him. It absolutely melts my heart to hear you pray and see your little head bowed, hands clapsed, and eyes closed in prayer as you praise Him and thank Him for things like monkeys and daddys,and m & m's. My prayer is that your love for Jesus continues to grow... that you will long for Him, seek Him and find Him, and keep Him in your heart always. I continue to pray for guidance as your Daddy and I raise you and teach you to feel His presence all around you. He is always with you Emily. Always. Just as I whispered of my love and promises to you on the day you were born, He whispers of His unfailing love to you all day long, just take the time to be still and listen, my little love. He is always there.

So, today on your THIRD birthday, my birthday wish is the same as always... that you will continue to Seek Him and Find Him, Love Him with all your heart, and Follow Him. Hear me when I say this, Darling... His grace is sufficient. His love enduring. And even when you mess up, which will happen, His mercies are new every morning. He is faithful and loving... your life is a testament to that! Happiest of Birthdays my sweet, sweet girl. I love you so much more than I will ever be able to tell you, or show you!

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE,
Mommy